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[ { "from": "user", "value": "[CW] Smash 'Em Up Sunday in Review Part 2: Jul - Dec 2023" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "# A Touch\n\nThey don’t prepare you for the little noises your ligaments make after they graft the replacement limb on. I can hear the biopolymer around my new fingerbones crackling, the sensation like running a stick over a chain link fence. My old arm—I see in my mind as I last saw it, lascerated to shreds, red flesh stark against the white bone—didn’t make sounds like that. \nDr. Manheim assures me it that it’s my imagination. \nOther than that, no real critiques of my first big cyber implant. Well, there’s a slight seam that circumnatigates the skin of my shoulder, an almost impercetible line where they got the skin pigmentation just a smidge wrong. But all things considered, I got a pretty sweet deal; three weeks off (on full hazard pay!), some good drugs and VR sim to keep pain and boredom away while I convalesced, and a brand new left arm for the one that was uh, damaged. Irreversably. \nI lost it during a break-in against my employer, Solvitech. The kind of break-in that you read about in the papers and never really think is going to happen to you: half-dozen guys, armed to the teeth, running and gunning in and out of a secured research lab. Just bad luck that the only thing between the exit and them happened to be Security Officer Supervisor, Eli Vander… \nThis morning the doc has got me in the diagnostic room running some tests with the pretty nurse–think she might be German, not sure. There’s some other nurses and other people huddled together, testing legs and eyes and stuff. I wondered if all these folks were at Manheim’s clinic from Solvitech. Or did all the megacorps send their people to this super fancy resort-like place to recuperate, to a clinic so exclusive it nurses on-hand 24/7, where they fed you primo vat-grown meat and had a running waterfall and a little garden with a live camellia tree in it and how much are they spending on me, is all of this a mistake? \nI’m doing my best trying to balance another plastic stone on top of this little cairn I’ve made…when Qel walks in. \n“Greetings, Mr. Vander,” she says, voice as smooth as snakeskin. \nThe pile of ersatz stones clatter to the floor. I look at my hand; it’s twitching. I can heard those damned ligaments again. The nurse clucks her tongue and guides my arm to the clean white bench. \n“Hi there, Qel,” I hear myself say. The nurse pushes a spot on my ulna and a panel opens, exposing the wiring and servos and mechanical guts of my arm to begin exploring it with her tools. I know it’s normal, it’s just my new arm, but I turn away, suddenly feeling squeamish. \nThe only other thing to look at though is Qel, and that just makes me feel worse. \n“Feeling a bit of stress?” she asked, eyebrow quirking. She’s holding a tablet with one arm, haptic pen held in her other fist at her side like a dagger. Sharp haircut, sharp suit, sharp smile. That’s Qel. \n“Stress? Nah, they got me on a dozen different meds.” It’s only been two weeks but it feels like a lifetime since I last saw her. “Just afraid of getting bored.” \n“To learn what we fear is to learn who we are.” \nI start to say “what kind of bullshit is that?” before my better judgement kicks in. I cough instead. \n“Integration’s improving!” the nurse says, pointing at my left hand which I had used to cover my mouth. “You covered your mouth with your left.” She guides my arm back down to the bench and closes the panel. \nThe silence between me and Qel stretches. “So, uh, whatcha doing here, boss? I thought I wasn’t due back for another week.” \nThe tablet makes a faint noise as she pushes it across the benchtop to me. It’s the moment I’ve been dreading; it’s a contract saying I need to serve them for life. Or no, It’s a pink slip. It’s a demotion to go fight in the corporate wars against Vikkers and Isshin. It’s the other shoe dropping, the bill… \nNo. It’s a diagram of an arm, loaded with complicated tech. \nI look at Qel, but she’s glaring at the nurse. “Haven’t you told him yet?” \nThe nurse muttered that she’d go get Dr. Manheim, and ran off. \nQel’s turned her 1000-watt stare on me. “When you were injured in the line of duty, Mr. Vander, you did so defending some special research. You managed to incapacitate the one thief in their crew who was carrying the stolen schematics.” \n“Just, ah, doing my job.” I force myself to chuckle. \n“They were for a new implant, one that will ushernext level of cybernetic warfare.” She flicked her finger across the screen, sending it scrolling past reams of technical data. “Mr. Vander, we stand at the threshold of something wonderful. Solvitech is grateful to you.” \nMy mouth went dry. I looked at my left arm. “You don’t mean…” \n“It’s poetry, really, to install the first prototype in it’s defender.” \n“W-what does it do?” \n“It can shut off a human nervous system through dermal contact.” Qel smiled. “Solvitech would like to to field test this prototype.” \n“By field test, you mean—” \n“Find the other thieves…and touch them.” \nI feel nauseous. The hand is clenched tight. Surprisingly, though, the ligaments aren’t making noise anymore. \nQel is weighing me with her eyes. I stretch out a finger, and slowly push it towards her arm, purple fabric bright against the stark white benchtop. She sees it and jerks her arm away. \nShe’s afraid. \nI feel dizzy. For the first time in my life, I feel powerful. “When do we start?”" } ]
[ { "from": "user", "value": "You’ve been abruptly sent back in time to what appears to be Colonial America. Inexplicably, the smartphone which was in your pocket at the time, still has access to the Internet." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "\\[Back. In Black.\\]\n\nShane's nerves tightened as he walked into town. On the one hand, it was nice to see humans again after spending over a day trekking through an unknown wilderness. On the other hand, he still didn't want to risk communicating. He'd realized the date shown on his phone, 1703, was correct as improbable as that might seem, and he was sure the language had evolved considerably. He was still planning to try of course, but he needed to find the right person to bother, and have an idea of what he wanted to say. It was early afternoon and the town was bustling as Shane made his way through. He hoped they were all too busy to notice him even as he did his best to study everyone else. He lucked out and came across enough scraps of clothing to don a more period-appropriate ensemble. He was sure his three-piece silk suit would have attracted an unreasonable amount of attention if he'd kept it on. Plus, he was hoping the burlap sack he stuffed it in would keep it relatively stain-free. \r \n\r \n\"Howdy, stranger,\" a voice startled Shane, and he replied reflexively.\r \n\r \n\"Howdy,\" Shane nodded the greeting as he turned to at least meet the stranger's eyes, and he was stunned. He found a young, large man in a crisp black suit with a black tie wearing black sunglasses. He had the proportions of a pro-wrestler and his black suit bulged around his arms and legs. This man did not belong there any more than Shane did. His first instinct was to flee. He had no idea why; but, that man approached him in broad daylight and no one seemed to notice his strange clothing. Something about the stranger's resting smile made Shane even more uneasy; he ran.\r \n\r \nShane worked closely with the military. He was on a base moments before he suddenly found himself in the past. He may not have been directly privy to any secret organizations. But, it also couldn't have been a coincidence that someone else apparently from the future was there too. What he did know was that the military liked to keep its secrets, and now he probably knew one. Although, Shane was glad that the stranger in black didn't chase after him. It was possible that he misread the situation and bolted for no reason, but he was okay with that. He knew he was going to have to be adaptable to survive in the past. \r \n\r \nHe ran a ways, then turned down a new road and vanished into a side road between two buildings. Shane waited a few moments to be sure the stranger didn't follow him, then he sighed and continued down the new path. \r \n\r \n\"Oh, there you are,\" a different voice spoke up as Shane walked out into the open. He turned to see someone else in a black suit; but, this stranger looked notably younger. He was smaller and thinner than Shane and he did not wear black sunglasses like the other had. \"Why are you running away?\" he asked Shane with a smile. \r \n\r \n\"Who are you? what do you want from me?\" Shane asked. He took a step backward but the teen grinned. \r \n\r \n\"My name's Alvin, and that's my partner, Moose,\" he nodded at someone behind Shane. He spun to see that same bulky man as before, then he focused on Alvin again. \r \n\r \n\"We're from the B.A.A.; just here to give you a ride home if you want it,\" Alvin shrugged. \"You don't belong here; but, you're welcome to stay,\" he said. Shane was surrounded and he took an extra moment to think.\r \n\r \n\"How'd you find me? How do you know any of that?\" Shane asked. As eager as he was to get home, he didn't expect the ticket to just fall in his lap.\r \n\r \n\"Your phone,\" Alvin nodded. \"It's why there's a network at all; if anyone connects to it, they might need help.\"\r \n\r \n\"How much trouble am I in?\" Shane asked. Alvin seemed open so far and he had nothing to lose by asking. \r \n\r \n\"For what?\" Alvin asked. By that time, Moose had walked past Shane to stand next to and tower over, Alvin. \r \n\r \n\"Because now I know the government is running time travel experiments,\" Shane answered. If he'd gotten a better night's sleep, he might not have given away his information so freely. \r \n\r \n\"I dunno, not our department,\" Alvin shrugged. \"But, you don't have to go back to your own Earth if you don't want to. We're just here to help, not take you anywhere you don't want to go.\r \n\r \n\"My own... Earth?\" Shane asked. \r \n\r \n\"I'm guessing,\" Alvin shrugged. \"There are infinite alternate Earths, and I get the feeling this one isn't yours; it's not ours either.\" \r \n\r \n\"What's your favorite number?\" Moose asked.\r \n\r \n\"Is that how you say 'Hello' on your Earth?\" Shane chuckled as he finally extended his hand toward Moose. \"Name's Shane, by the way,\" he added. Moose grinned and took off his sunglasses to reveal a baby face as young as Alvin's.\r \n\r \n\"Howdy, Shane. Good to meet you, welcome to the AlterNet.\"\r \n\n\n\\*\\*\\* Thank you for reading! I’m responding to prompts every day. This is story #2169 in a row. (Story #359 in year six.). This story is part of an ongoing saga that takes place in my universe." } ]
[ { "from": "user", "value": "They say if you sleep with a small length of red tape encircling your wrist the eve before a queue, you'll be granted a boon by the fae queen of the paperwork court." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Barnabas knew that his vision was becoming quite poor these days, but that didn't explain why there were three bizarrely-dressed lookalikes manning the DMV counters before he even unlocked the doors at 7:13 A.M. They had the same height, the same coloring, and the same nose with fogged black spectacles, and yet in the split-second before Barnabas blinked, their forms seemed to glitch like a broken screen.\n\n\"Hello, my dear fellow,\" one whistled, glowing eyes barely visible under their fluffy white fur hoodie that reminded Barnabas uncomfortably of a polar bear's watchful gaze during a hunt. \"We were sent by the Queen of the Paperwork Court to assist you!\"\n\nBarnabas's first instinct was to glance at the security cameras, but they were frosted over with snowflakes and white tinsel. \"Don't worry about getting caught, you're the only worker on this shift anyway.\" The lookalike with gleaming foot-long icicles on their nails gestured to the door. \"Go on then, go home. Spend time with your husband and kids, it's the holidays.\" \n\n\"Ah! Th—\" Barnabas had a sudden iron-hot memory of his mother emphasizing *never* to say \"thank you\" to the fae, otherwise risk offense by the perception of you ending your bargain early through measly words of compensation, \"—thoughtful of you all,\" he finished, his brow heated already. \"Appreciate it very much. Could you, um, please remind me of the agreement we settled on?\"\n\nAnother lookalike stuck their head out from the nearby photo booth, this one dressed from neck to toe in lime green, with a thick cable-knit sweater and little shiny ornaments, also in lime green, dangling from their hair. \"Barnabas, you shouldn't make bargains you can't remember,\" they scolded. \"When you wrap red tape around your wrist and 'beg for customers to be pleasant at work, so help me Mab,' that really should be a lasting memory.\"\n\n\"Right. So—\" another reminder from his mother, don't apologize or they'll find a way to charge you extra, \"—sounds like good advice. I'll keep it in mind.\"\n\n\"Good, good. We like making bargains with smart men.\" The icicle-wielding lookalike began to spurt dark blue ink from one tip of their fingers, and Barnabas watched with uncomfortable fascination as they scrawled a perfect forgery of his handwriting on the first page on the dictionary-sized stack of forms on his desk. The other hand clattered on the keyboard, fingers moving too fast for Barnabas to even make out their number of fingers. \n\n*I must be dreaming, and I need to wake up again*. He took another step, but the polar bear lookalike waved him off with a sharp, toothy grin. \"Oh no, Barnabas. Continue being smart and go home. We promise we'll deal with all the customers coming in today with the gold-star precision that our Queen demands. They'll be as pleasant as plum tarts once we're through with them.\"\n\nEven through his morning haze, Barnabas understood one shining, gleaming truth: he was *not* paid enough to deal with this. \"Right again. I trust that you'll do my job better than I do.\"\n\n\"Oh, we will,\" they said in unison. \n\nAnd with that eerie note, Barnabas stepped back out the doors, still facing them because he was too afraid to turn his back and he couldn't remember if they took offense to that too. He kept moving until he reached the safety of the cement entrance and could turn and walk to his car, already salivating at the thought of his husband's signature peppermint hot chocolate and the crooked smiles of their kids when Papa could finally enjoy breakfast with them on a rare Saturday.\n\nAs soon as Barnabas drove off the lot, he spared no more thoughts on the plight of those left at the DMV, but the lookalikes had many plans in store. \n\n\"It's so much easier to tempt people into bargains when you have their full names,\" the lime green lookalike said, their smile stretching so wide that the ends touched each of their pointed ears. The polar bear and icicle lookalikes each returned the smile with sharp and frosty ones of their own. \"And now we have access to an entire town's worth.\"\n\n\"The holidays have truly come early.\"" } ]
[ { "from": "user", "value": "Your fellow villagers do not believe you when the local farmer is not a human because \"They provide good crops and is nice\". Now you are attempting to expose your local farmer of being nonhuman to them." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "\\[Unveiling. Ruined.\\] \n\n\"Tonight, the truth will finally be revealed,\" Dennis grinned. Mary gave him a confused glance and eyed the glass flask the local drunk was cradling. It was smaller than his usual flask and filled with clear water. It was an unusual serving for him, and he was around at an unusual hour. He wasn't doing anything wrong; but, it didn't take a genius to see through his plan. Theoretically, the farmer's market was already closed. But, Mary was still waiting to finish up some business and Dennis was the only other body around; they were both waiting for the same person. \r \n\r \n\"Well, just don't make any trouble,\" Mary sighed as he pretended to be browsing the handmade crafts of the unmanned booth next to hers. Both of them jumped in fright when a sudden deep voice spoke up from behind them.\r \n\r \n\"Sorry I'm late, Mary\" the man said. The sudden appearance was a surprise, but Mary quickly relaxed when she recognized the towering, pale mountain of a man. He stood at least 8 feet tall with a nearly ghost-white pallor that made his bald head seem extra strange. He was as broad as Dennis and Mary side by side and he wore a long leather duster. \"Evening, Dennis,\" he nodded at the nervous man with his own curious look. \"I wasn't expecting you here,\" he added. \r \n\r \n\"He's just keeping me company, Mr. Ruin,\" Mary giggled to hopefully speed the interaction along and get him out of there. She gave the imposing farmer a thick white envelope. \"It was a good day, everything sold again!\" she said. \r \n\r \n\"Thank you,\" he accepted the envelope with a nod, then turned away.\r \n\r \n\"Oh, Mr. Ruin, wait!\" Dennis spoke up. The man stopped and Dennis whispered to Mary.\r \n\r \n\"Watch this,\" he said. \"You'll understand.\"\r \n\r \n\"Dennis, what's your fave-,\" Ruin began a question as he turned around. But, he was interrupted by a sudden wet splash of water tossed at his face. \r \n\r \n\"VAMPIRE!\" Dennis yelled.\r \n\r \n\"What was that for?\" Ruin's question was forgotten as he sighed and wiped the water away.\r \n\r \n\"No! You're a vampire!\" Dennis was at least brave enough to try and put himself between Ruin and Mary. \r \n\r \n\"I am,\" Ruin nodded. \"And?\"\r \n\r \n\"SEE!! He's NOT HUMAN!\" Dennis was ecstatic about being right and he turned to Mary to make sure she knew it. She looked at him with the same pleasant smile she always wore and gave an encouraging nod.\r \n\r \n\"What's your favorite-\"\r \n\r \n\"WAIT A MINUTE!\" Dennis interrupted Ruin's question again. \"Why didn't that holy water do anything to you??\" he stepped back and had to push Mary backward too; she didn't seem to be very bothered by a vampire in their midst. \r \n\r \n\"I'm a Unique vampire,\" Ruin answered and continued talking to finally ask a question. \"What's your favorite number?\" he asked.\r \n\r \n\"25!\" Dennis answered. \"What? Why? What do you care?\" he was surprised by his own answer but he recovered quickly. Up until that point, he didn't even know he had a favorite number. \r \n\r \n\"Okay, well, welcome to the AlterNet,\" Ruin chuckled. \"I'll introduce you to someone that can get you caught up,\" he said. As he spoke he pulled a glass card from in his coat; then, he pulled a black card out of the clear one. He tossed the black card against the wall of the wooden stall and it opened a tall black portal. \r \n\r \n\"WHY AREN'T YOU REACTING!?\" Dennis fought to keep from shaking Mary as he asked. She stood by and watched the whole situation with a smile. \"He's a vampire and he has magic!\" Dennis said. \r \n\r \n\"It's actually nano technology,\" Ruin shrugged. \"But, she won't care either way. She's just the vendor for my crops,\" he said as he moved toward the portal and encouraged Dennis to follow. \r \n\r \n\"She might care...,\" Dennis commented. His mind was flooded with vague thoughts and goals. He'd been so focused on proving Ruin wasn't human that his mind didn't know what else to settle on now that he'd achieved his goal. He felt like he just woke up after a long night with an infinity of possibilities before him. It didn't matter that Ruin was a vampire; he'd always been one. And he'd been nice and pleasant as far as Dennis could remember. He was too overwhelmed with possibilities to be worried; but, he also wanted to share it. Mary had always been friendly too. \"There's a lot to see, right?\" He didn't know how he knew it. But, he felt it in his soul. that he was about to embark on an amazing adventure.\r \n\r \n\"Nope,\" Ruin shook his head. \"She didn't answer the question.\"\r \n\r \n\"What?\" Dennis was still lingering next to Mary who continued to smile. \"So she doesn't have a favorite number, big deal! That doesn't mean anything,\" \r \n\r \n\"It does,\" Ruin nodded. \"Everyone else in the town is still an NPC,\" he said. \"You're the only one that Woke up.\"\n\n\\*\\*\\* Thank you for reading! I’m responding to prompts every day. This is story #2172 in a row. (Story #362 in year six.). This story is part of an ongoing saga that takes place in my universe." } ]
[ { "from": "user", "value": "With Christmas coming to an end, Santa’s elves are in need of new jobs. Some elves are unlucky enough to not find any other occupation in the North Pole and are forced to find jobs in the human world. Let’s tell the story of one such elf!" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "It's not painful, exactly, it's more like holding in a sneeze, and you do it for so long that you eventually get used to it and maybe even forget about it. Then in December you take off the bracelet, or anklet, or collar, or however you wore the stone that time, and you finally sneeze. And *that* is kinda painful as much as it is satisfactory. \n\nI felt the sneeze in the middle of the night, waking me up in a state of panicked confusion. James, or was it Jake? The coworker I had slept with woke up too and screamed and jumped out of bed. \n\n“What the fuck!? What the fuck!?” He kept repeating, pushing himself against the dresser, trying to get as far away from me as possible. Meanwhile I looked around the bed urgently, trying to find the damn anklet. \n\n“Okay, okay, calm down, I'm not that hideous!” I exclaimed, turning the sheets this way and that. The damn anklet must have gotten loose during the vigorous activity from a couple hours before. Jeff *had* said it looked really sexy on me, may have even licked it when my ankles were by his ears. I was sure it was Jeff, or was it John? \n\n“You're a child!” He yelled, no, wailed. \n\nI froze in place, looking at him, momentarily forgetting about the anklet. \n\n“What?” I asked, but I understood the reason for his panic. \n\n“You're a child…” he said, trailing off when wakefulness began to clear his mind. “What?” He asked, confused but with his panic subsiding. \n\n“I'm an elf. And I assure you, I am very, very much an adult”. I didn't think that was the right time to say I was 800 years old, and that as far as I could remember, I had never been a child. We North Pole fae get created, not born. \n\nHis breathing started to slow down and he looked less shaken. Poor guy, I actually felt bad for… Jeremy? No, it began with a J but it had less letters. Imagine you wake up in someone else’s bed, you remember you had sex, but then you see them and they’re three feet tall, you’d be scared too. And to be fair, in some ways I do look childish, hands, feet and head are too large for my scaled down adult body, it’s an easy mistake to make in the dark. So I reached for the bedside table and turned on the lamp. Joseph gasped. No, it wasn’t Joseph either. \n\n“What do you mean elf?” Here we go. I didn’t know much about… Jason? Evidently I didn’t know much about him, but I did know he was a fantasy nerd. When the Lord of the Rings movie arrived at the Blockbuster, he kept finding ways to sneak into conversation that he’d read the books *and* the Silmarillion, and the Hobbit, and the Appendixes. Oh my Santa, had I slept with him because of that? What does that say about me? \n\n“Not elf like in Middle Earth” I said, annoyed. “Elf like in the North Pole, Santa’s workshop? Oh yeah, Santa’s real by the way, and us little elves make the toys”. I crossed my arms. All I was wearing was his t-shirt, but right then it was huge on me. \n\nI could almost see his eyes drift in opposite directions as he tried to process all of that. \n\n“You’re an actual elf, from Santa’s workshop, in the North Pole”, he said almost absentmindedly, and then added: “But there is no land in the North Pole”. \n\nThat took me off guard. If I’d known him better I could probably have said it was typical Jeronimo. Nope, still not the name. \n\n“Not in any of the maps you know”, I said, going back to looking for my anklet. Chose not to mention that Santa’s North Pole is not the same as the geographic, nor the magnetic, nor the geomagnetic north poles, but more of a conceptual North Pole. Poor guy… Jerome? Was not in a place to take in more information. \n\nAh hah! The anklet! I took the slender metallic circle with the stone on one side. \n\n“What’s that?” Jefferson asked. This was getting ridiculous, I was going to have to ask him what his name was, and that was going to be even weirder, in a way, than me going elven next to him in bed. \n\n“This”, I sighed, leaning forward holding the piece of jewelry, my knees bent in front of me, “is what makes me look like a human. The damn thing must have fallen off and that’s why we got this nasty little surprise”. \n\nHe went very red and looked away in a hurry. Was he remembering when he licked the anklet? I looked down and realized that was not the reason for his blushing. My position made it possible for him to see all the way up the t-shirt. ‘Come on Jeremiah’ I thought -no, not Jeremiah-, ‘you were calling it dinner not that long ago!’ But in fairness elven pussy is different from human, for one the elven version has no utility besides being a morphic resonance with the general humanoid shape pattern. \n\n“I’m gonna put it on so we can talk more calmly, okay?” I said and snapped the anklet around my ankle. And there it was, the full body feeling of holding in a sneeze. And instantly I had to pee. The elven urethra also has no use, nor connection to the inside. “Give me a sec!” I exclaimed and jumped out of bed, hurrying to the bathroom. \n\nIt may be magic, but somewhere in a pocket realm where magical things happen to make one being be another, a bladder was very full and it was great to empty it in the physical realm. \n\nWhen I came back to the bedroom Jefferson was sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing his jeans. Well, now I knew another thing about him, he was a jeans before socks kind of guy. \n\n“You want this?” I asked, grabbing the hem of his t-shirt to pull it off. \n\n“That’s okay!” He said hurriedly, raising a hand. Wow, was he afraid of what was underneath? I looked human again! I had really shaken him. \n\n“You can’t go back home topless” I said, and wished he was wearing his Blockbuster polo with his name tag. Three months and I probably hadn’t read it once. Feeling guilty I sat on my bed and lied. “Hey, these transformations, they do weird things to my mind, particularly my memory. It's really odd, magical stuff, but I am blanking on your name…” Did I pull it? \n\nHe turned to look at me and got this weird expression, then he chuckled. \n\n“What?” I asked, thinking it was likely that I hadn’t pulled it off. \n\n“Jay. It’s Jay. And you’re… well you introduce yourself as Miranda. I laughed because I remembered that when I asked you out tonight and you said yes, I thought how impossible that seemed because I was sure you didn’t even know my name. Because you’re so pretty”. He looked a little sad and I felt awful. Naughty++ list material. \n\n“My actual name is…” I paused. I thought it would be a nice gesture to tell him my real name, but then I realized he was probably expecting Miradriel or something like that, instead of… “my name is Cinnamon Sprinkles and Fudge”. I could feel my cheeks and ears going deep red. \n\nJay stopped with a sock half way up his foot. “Really?” He asked. \n\n“I know! Shut up!” I picked up a pillow and hit him gently with it. \n\nHe was smiling and that was good. “Is it like a family name?” \n\n“No, we don’t have families us North Pole Fae. Mrs. Claus just names us however she fancies. And you wanna know the weirdest part? When I was made there wasn’t fudge yet in the world, nor sprinkles, time flows differently at the North Pole”. I caught myself, I had said too much. \n\n“How old are you?” Of course he was going to ask that. Time to fess up. \n\n“Eight hundred and twenty seven years”. \n\n“Oh wow”. \n\n“Does it gross you out?” I asked. I’m not usually insecure about my age, but I’m not often saying it while wearing only the t-shirt of the guy I’m telling it to, after we had sex. \n\n“I mean, Galadriel was over 8,000 years old by the time she met Frodo, and she was super hot”. As he spoke he continued putting on his sock. \n\n“She was played by Cate Blanchett…” I said. Of course she was hot. The real life one probably… what was I thinking? There was no real life Galadriel! And if there had been she would have probably been a tiny scary thing, Forest Fae are minuscule and terrifying. \n\n“You have more of a Liv Tyler thing going on”. He said that like it was nothing, a passing comment, a simple known fact and not an attempt at flattery. I swear I tried not to let my heart flutter, but I couldn’t. He had not been nearly as suave the whole night, and yet we’d ended up at my place. If he’d been, maybe we wouldn’t have made it out of his car. Of course these feelings of mine were mainly related to the anklet and having functioning genitalia. \n\nJay looked up, thinking of something. \n\n*** \n[*Continues in a comment to this comment. I went a little long. Also I'm sorry this came out kinda horny, I did not set out to make that way, maybe I need a cold shower.*] \n*** \nMore of my stories at /r/BradingRoom" } ]
[ { "from": "user", "value": "[OT] SatChat: What are your New Year's resolutions? (Part 2) (New here? Introduce yourself!)" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Whelp! I wasn't around this time last year (didn't join up until March 2023) so I'll follow up on this next year.\n\nAs for *this* year, my resolution/goal is to finish the 2nd and 3rd draft of *Escaping the Hunt*. My Serial Sunday story reached its conclusion back in October/November and I was so pleased with actually completing a story I'm going back through editing it in hopes of getting it published. \n\nI don't think the *publishing* process will begin in 2024 so that's not a reasonable goal for me to set. I do think that I can get through a couple rounds of edits. The 1st draft is roughly 30k words so for the 2nd draft I'm aiming to get it up to 50k or more. Basically just going back through, applying suggestions and changes from the SERSUN feedback I've received and everything I've developed as a writer since joining here, and adding in details I had to cut due to SERSUN constraints.\n\nAs I do this I'm leaving numerous TODOs, things like \"Maybe move this Chapter up here?\" or \"Rewrite from another person's perspective\", things like that. The third draft will be going through and addressing those TODOS. I think I can get through all of that this year.\n\nAfter that, fourth draft will be sending it out to alpha/beta readers and editors. But that feels more likely a 2025 goal, but one can dream!" } ]
[ { "from": "user", "value": "You, a feared villain who for ages has stood atop the Worlds Most Wanted, have decided to change sides… and now sit at an awkward interview with all your former enemies and the World Hero League." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Professor Edward Vile looked at himself in the mirror as he wore his old suit. His wife looked at him and said, “Don’t be nervous. You’re perfect for the job, you've got an IQ in the 300s, and you can manipulate objects with your mind. You'll be a perfect member of The Association.” he sighs and replies “Its, not the qualifications I’m worried about I’ve almost destroyed Tommorwman more times than I can count and I now I want to work for him what's he going to think when I walk up and ask him for a job? It just wouldn’t be logical for him to say yes,” his wife replied. “There’s more to life than logic, sweetheart.” The professor nodded and approached his giant robot spider to get to Association HQ. When he walked in, he got strange looks from everyone around him. They had heard from the news that the great Professor E.Vile, the arch-enemy of Tommorrowman, had a change of heart, but to see this man walk into this building made something that only happened in news bulletins real for everyone on the side. Edward walked up to the secretary and sheepishly uttered, “I’m here for the interview.” Without looking up from her computer, the secretary said, “Down the hall, third door on the left”. He hadn’t felt this nervous since college. If even a secretary would barely give him the time of day, how much luck did he have?\n\nWhen he opened the door, three heroes stood behind the desk; the first Tommorrowman, wearing his iconic green cape and orange spandex, seemed inexplicably happy to see him. Next to him was another hero called Spectre, a vigilante who wore all-black and only came out at night. Tomorrowman told him, “Have a seat, Mr. Vile.” the professor took a seat in the chair. “Please, Mr. Vile was my father's name, call me Edward.” Spectre stared him down with deep scorn. “Ok, Edward, what do you think you can bring to the World Hero League?” the former villain began to fidget nervously. “Well, I can move things with my mind. I am a good problem solver. And I…have good communication skills,” Spectre replied, “I think I remember you using those skills when you tried to take over the world with Volcanoid.” Edward conceded, “Look, I know my past isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, but I wouldn’t be here If I hadn’t.” Tommorrowman sat back and inquired, “Well, why have you changed?” Edward sighed. “When I was fighting Tommorrowman last month, I used one of my giant robot spiders to throw buildings at him. I got a brief glimpse of someone inside the building and thought about how they had a life like mine, hopes, dreams, jealousy, and love, and I had just snuffed it out without a thought. I don’t want that to be my legacy. Maybe you won’t let me in, but I told myself I’d do everything to be a hero, and that's exactly what I’m doing.”  Spectre and Tommorrowman looked at each other and nodded. Tommorrowman spoke, “Edward Vile, Welcome to The Association.”" } ]
[ { "from": "user", "value": "Aliens have been among us for thousands of years. They have been influencing us to be one with nature. Showing us how important biodiversity is to the survival life on planet earth. However industrial capitalism over the past 300 years has begun to wage war on these principles." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Geo walked through the woods. He was surprised to hear a male voice. “Please help us!”, it cried. He looked at the ground. A little green man stood there and looked up. It was about three inches tall. “A machine is about to tear down the woods”, he informed. A whirring noise came. It was faint, though. “There it is!”, the creature shouted. “What do you expect ME to do?” “Stand in front of it?” “Like hell I will.” The man was about to walk off. “What are you even doing in the woods?”, interrupted the creature. “I’m ‘exploring nature.’” He said it in a mocking tone. “My therapist said I needed to”, he added. “Well I can help. Follow me. I’m Tinky, by the way.” The creature ran off. Geo followed closely. “What even are you?”, asked Geo. “A yob. We’re fascinating creatures. Some of us can grow *wings*.” \nSoon, they came to a small village. The creatures were everywhere. In their backyards, beautiful flowers grew. Some of them were luminescent. Some were three different colors. “Wow”, said Geo, wide-eyed. Three of the creatures ran up to Geo. “These are my family”, said Tinky, “Mom, Dad, and Till, my sis.” “Nice to meet you”, said Geo. “Nice to meet *you*”, said the dad. “I’m Geo.” The whirring was audible again. The children in the village hugged their parents. “I can’t believe I’m doing this”, said Geo. He started to walk away. “What are you doing?!”, asked Tinky. “I’m gonna stand in front of it”, he replied. Tinky ran after. \nGeo ran to the source of the noise. In front of him was a red vehicle with a long horizontal blade in the front. The blade spun at a high speed. It was about as tall as him. Geo saw a man driving it. “Stop!”, shouted Geo. The man didn’t react. Tinky watched. “No!”, he cried. Suddenly, fairy wings sprouted from his back. He flew to the driver. \n“What the hell?!”, shouted the man, scared. Tinky grabbed the wheel and pushed with all his might. The vehicle turned to the left. “Yeah!”, yelled Geo, pumping a fist into the air. \nLater, Geo, wearing a flower crown, sat surrounded by the creatures. They sat along with him. Geo closed his eyes. He felt calm." } ]
[ { "from": "user", "value": "a group of kobolds raised a dragon as one of their own. The dragon found out they weren't a kobold after chipping their horn on the cieling" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "It seemed to work for so many years that they even began to convince themselves to believe in their own ruse, Until one fateful day. A clan of kobolds hidden deep in mt. Honuru had long ago pledged themselves to unquestionably care for the ancient red dragon dwelling there for centuries. However, she left her eggs one day and never came back; and assuming she had unfortunately passed they proceeded to care for her eggs in her stead, ready to serve the heirs at their beck and call. Only one of them hatched, so they cared for it like it was one of their own, until she started to speak and they realized their mistake: She thought she was one of them.\n\nAt first the kobolds saw no problem in this (though some protested, they were out voted), and they kept on with life teaching Elizabeth everything they knew. She never seemed to question anything as far as they knew, and she never knew better to question anything, until the fateful day she hit a huge growth spurt over night and tore part of the ceiling with her horn as she tried to stand up to her full height. Every soul in the mountain held its breath as they watched the realization settle in. You could almost see the wheels turning as she squinted her eyes putting everything together in her head before they grew as big as shields and Elizabeth was gone in a flash.\n\nEvery kobold in the mountain rushed out to see her fly away, filled with regret and sorrow that this was how she found out. They each blamed themselves for what happened, and could only dream of making it up to her, if she ever came back. Surely if she did it would only ever be in need of a midnight snack, and that would be their last willing service to her; truly they each and every one loved her as a parent would.\n\nElizabeth flew as hard and fast as she could, emotions flurrying through her mind as she thought about who she was and what she was. What her family, no, the kobolds who raised her, were to her now. One town gone. She could get used to being a dragon, something deep inside her swelled up in the purest of joy at even the thought of chaos and destruction: The raw power that put every soul under her every wit and whim. Every soul, including the kobolds that raised her like she was one of them: Never telling her true potential and nature. She had to make things right, she had to go back. She left the fourth town crumbling under her feet, ash filling the air as she lifted her giant body off the ground and flew back to the mountain.\n\nThey looked on with fear as the shadow of a distant dragon steadily grew larger, coming right for them. Yet they all had a sense of understanding, and even a sense of peace of mind as they watched their fate grow ever closer. Elizabeth watched them bow onto their faces and offer themselves up as she landed on the cliffside from whence they had watched her leave, smoke still billowing from her mouth and nostrils from the last village she mercilessly trampled. \"***What is the meaning of thy lowly behavior?***\" she bellowed in her deep, almost mystical draconic voice, \"***I have spread a new fear across the land, sparing no man nor woman nor child. My name is whispered among the alleys, and they who hear it shudder and shun the lips that spake it. This has come to pass because you raised me as thine own, and for years I knew not what my true nature was until today. Come unto me, my family, and know that thou shalt not be able to walk any road without my reputation preceding thee. I shall watch over thee all of thy days and none shall spite thee without my wrath consuming them.***\" As she declared this loyalty and love to her family she embraced them into her wings close to her, and showered them with the spoils of every village and caravan she had crossed." } ]
[ { "from": "user", "value": "[SP] you find a new block of cheese sitting on your kitchen table every morning you are lactose intolerant so you never buy cheese, whoever is leaving the cheese has begun leaving messages, and you are not happy." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "**Cheese Happens Pt 2**\n\n​\n\nAnd that takes us to yesterday. I woke up and felt the intense smell of cheese in the air. It seemed to me like there had never been another smell in the whole world, and there would never be another. This was my life now. \r \n\r \nI got out of bed, stretched a bit, headed towards the kitchen. And then…\r \n\r \nNothing. There was nothing. No cheese, or board, or knife, or note. I breathed a deep sigh of relief. It felt to me like, in one fell swoop, my home was my home again. And then, a knock at the door. \r \n\r \nI thought how weird it was, this early in the morning. And not even ringing the bell.\r \n\r \nI opened the door: it was Gene, the maintenance guy. Gene was a man in his forties, rather short. Not much hair. He had bulging eyes that looked like they were trying to scape his sockets, and a vacant and meaningless smile that created an obfuscating effect when you looked at him. \r \n\r \n\r \n“Oh, hi John”, he said casually, as if he hadn’t prompted the situation.\r \n\r \n“Hi Gene, how are you.”\r \n\r \n“Oh, I was just stopping by… Do you need something fixed?”\r \n\r \n“No, I’m good for the time being, thank you very much. If you don’t mind I’m a bit busy here.”\r \n\r \nI started closing the door, but then Gene said: \r \n\r \n“It was me. I’m the cheese man.”\r \n\r \n“What the fuck. What the actual fuck, man.”\r \n\r \n“I know, I know. I’m really sorry. Really sorry. They told me there would be a lot of money for me, and I need the money, God knows I need the money.”\r \n\r \n“What?! How the hell do you own a key to my apartment?”\r \n\r \n“Oh, that. Yeah, I don’t really. Everyone’s got a past, right. I’m good with doors”\r \n\r \n“Fuck this shit. I’m calling the cops right now”, I said while taking out my phone.\r \n\r \n“No, please, please don’t. I’m never coming back in, I promise. It’s my mother, she’s ill. I need the money.”\r \n\r \nThis was too intense, to be honest, and I had a hard time processing what was going down. I tried to compose myself. \r \n\r \n“Ok, who the fuck are you talking about?”\r \n\r \n“Oh, the conglomerate. The cheese conglomerate. They pay for every new customer that you turn in. The brochure said it very clearly, turn prospective customer into clients.”\r \n\r \nI understood then that Gene was insane, and that he had elaborated this really detailed fantasy revolving cheese, of all things. I remember seeing him walk down the hallway, with a distinct scent of cheese to him, and a way of walking that resembled that of a mouse, if there was such a thing as a human mouse, that is. \r \n\r \n“There he goes”, I thought. “My cheese. My karma. My nightmare. My rendezvous with the woo woo.” \r \n\r \nHey, I might even order pizza tonight." } ]
[ { "from": "user", "value": "You are the warlock in a of adventurers. But your Patron isn't some lowly lording of the fey, or beggar from the infernal realms or even some inscrutable contractor from realms beyond. Your Patron, is the Dungeon Master!" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "A band of three adventurers traveled down a road through a sparse and withered grove. As they traveled, they rolled for perception. Fortunately, the Warlock was proficient in perception, and so the DM was thrilled to reveal the various details of the surrounding forest, from fancy plants to adorable animals, though the Fighter groaned, bored at the lack of conflict with which to get big and bash heads in. Eventually though, the trio came to a clearing, where a lone Druid stood, working on carving a complex druidic design on a stone dais.\n\n\"Ah! To battle!\" The Fighter shouted, already rolling for initiative despite no call for battle being made.\n\n\"Hold on, calm down, Andes!\" The Warlock stopped the Fighter, stepping into the shorter Duergar's path. \"We don't know if this Druid is hostile. Let me speak with it.\"\n\n\"You always do this, Kanok.\" The Artificer spoke in his scratchy, metallic voice. \"You ask the enemy their whole life story as if someone is happy to tell it.\"\n\n\"Funny you should mention that...\" Kanok the Warlock grumbled. \"But still, better to save our spell slots, hit points, and runes. We never know how many random encounters we'll get hit with before we get to town.\" Feeling appeased at his favored player's wiseness, the DM gave Kanok a point of Inspiration.\n\n\"It always turns into combat! Just let me crush him before he turns into a giant snake or something! I rolled a 19 on initiative! Add dex and it's 21! I can hit him!\" Andes the fighter pleaded.\n\n\"It only turns into combat because you're a murderous hobo!\" Kanok retorted. \"I'm going. You stay here and let me talk!\" The DM, seeing a contest of wills, had the two make opposed Persuasion checks. The Warlock won by twice again as high a roll. Forced to sit back and down, the Artificer gave the Fighter a clockwork toy (a funny dog video) to keep him happy and occupied. Heading into the clearing, the Warlock approached the Druid, who remained focused on the dais, but began to speak regardless.\n\n\"Do not think you are sneaky, man of the cities.\" The DM stated through the Druid.\n\n\"I don't intend to be sneaky, I simply wish to ask what you are doing.\" Kanok replied.\n\n\"I am preparing this stone as an altar for a ritual, to revive the forest that your people poison and harvest unnecessarily.\" The Druid turned only enough to look back at Kanok, with a tear rolling from his angry eye. \"The forest that my people defended to the death.\"\n\n\"I see. And how far will this magic spread?\"\n\n\"As far as from here to the northern mountain in every direction. Your folk destroyed my home and my family, it is only fair I destroy some things of yours in turn.\"\n\n\"But then the cycle of destruction will never end. You destroy the cities, and they will see more reason to destroy you. Instead of ignoring you they will see you as evil, and feel justified in continuing to destroy this place!\" Kanok put his hand on the Druid's shoulder. \"Why don't you let me help? Together we can persuade the city folk... my folk... to stop their destruction of your home.\"\n\n\"Hm...\" The Druid hummed thoughtfully, to the DM's delight. The DM didn't even have the Warlock roll for persuasion, confident in the words. \"Very well.\" The Druid stopped carving into the dais, one letter short of finishing the spell. \"Let us go then, and save my home.\"\n\n\"Awww...\" The fighter groaned loudly. \"I wanted to fight something!\"" } ]